Kevin the Blasphemer, ruler of a thousand worlds, turned warily around the next corner and into a dark stone room.  He was lost in an insane game of the gods, trapped in a maze of indefinite dimensions, a test of his faith.  Stripped of all but his wit, he carried on.  Slowly he felt his way through the dark, damp chamber.  Then he heard it, the grinding of stone on stone, the closing of one door and opening of another.  
Before him, light poured through the new opening, and he could see what appeared to be the outside world again.  But then the image began to ripple and blur as if it was made of some sort of liquid.  Out sprung the first of them.
“What the fuck?!?” said Kevin of the Rokitkas.  It was a rat, and upon it’s back sat a Pygmy Leprechaun wielding a welding torch.  Then to his dismay, Kevin noticed that a rocket launcher took the place of this rat’s face.
“Seriously?  What the hell is going on here?” asked the Blasphemer, “I am so fucking confused right now. “
Now, more of the little wretched beasts hobbled forth from the portal, and Kevin cautiously moved forward toward freedom.  
“STOP!” commanded an eerie voice form beyond,  “This is your final test.  To gain entry to the outer dimension you must first defeat my rat minions and not get eaten by the mongooses.”
“What mongooses?  And isn’t it mongeese?” said Kevin.
“NO!” replied the voice.
“Why am I here, who the fuck are you, and what is going on?” said Kevin.  There was no response, and slowly the horde of rats and their tiny masters edged ever closer, a wall of doom.
“Get away from me you little freaks!” said Kevin,  they did not respond.  
“BEGIN!” said the voice of the mysterious stranger.  The horde’s rocket mouths opened fire and hundreds of tiny projectiles came at the man.  He dove towards the wall as the rockets exploded where he once stood.  While he was getting up the mass charged for him, the rats fired again and the leprechauns screamed terrible war cries. Their voices where shrill and screechy causing blood to run freely from The Blasphemer’s ears. “DAMMIT!” he yelped as he dodged another barrage of rat-rockets.
The rats were on him now, clawing at his exquisite clothing, tearing into his flesh.  The tiny leprechauns laughed manically as their rides began to kill the man.  Kevin swatted them off, but more took their places.  But then, the leprechauns set in with their welding torches and set alight the Blasphemers clothing.  The evil runes on his coat began to glow as the flame reached them and they emitted their foul energies back to the warp.  More rats launched themselves upon his screaming, writhing form and launched their rockets into his entrails.  
“AHHH!  MINE SPLEEN!”  he shouted as the first mongoose came and devoured his tongue.   He would speak no more.  His bloodied insides spilt across the cold stone floor as he toppled over.  They began to cook and sizzle in the leprechaun’s flames.  He was trying to scream but no recognizable sounds came from The Blasphemer’s mouth.
The mongooses began to feast upon the dying man while he was still alive, they and their rat brethren somehow impervious to the flames.
“YOU HAVE FAILED!” said the voice, “BUT YOU CAN STILL BE SAVED!  COME BACK TO THE EMPEROR’S LIGHT AND HE SHALL SHOW HIS MERCY AND SPARE YOU.”
Kevin made an impolite gesture with his remaining fingers and died.  The mongooses and rats ate him to the bones, which were then used to weld a new sword for the lead leprechaun.